Mad Men Finale Sucked

Spoiler alert for all both of you that still watch Mad Men: It just ended and I am totally let down.

Also, I'm totally not proofreading this at all. So how's that for living on the edge?

That finale sucked. Sucked. As I did with True Blood, let me re-write the ending: 

Ok, Don gets his ass on a plane and decides to be there for his kids. Betty *was* just being a hypochondriac and so Sally freaks out and beats the crap out of BOTH her parents. Betty physically recovers. (She was emotionally broken enough and deserves to watch herself age.) Don Draper, however, is rendered irrevocably impotent and with Broca's aphasia - no more smooth talking, asshole. Don ends up relying mostly on his kids for everything. He sure as hell ain't doin' YOGA. (AS. FREAKING. IF.) Roger's ending is fine as written, except he shaves the cheesy stache and we get to see a lot more of him being hilarious while in his boxers, maybe on acid again. (Always found Slattery several thousand degrees hotter than Hamm) 

Joan actually gets to be happy. HELLO WORLD WHAT HAVE YOU GOT AGAINST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN WITH BIG BOOBS? BELIEVE IT OR NOT LIFE IS NOT ANY EASIER BECAUSE OF THESE ATTRIBUTES. (Spoken solely on Joan's behalf, of course.) Anyway, let her be happy, dammit. Let her have the man AND the job and Peggy will use her as inspiration to write that Enjoli ad "she can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never never let you forget you're a man." (Which, no, I did not need to google. That is burned into my brain.) They will argue about whether any man ever forgets he is a man. Peggy will say, "Don Draper," and the ad will air. (And ruin the lives of an entire generation of women. How about when we said "hey ladies, get jobs" we ALSO said, "hey men, guess what. YOU can also scrub a toilet."?) ..... Anyway, back to Joan.... Seriously. Seriously. They didn't make her happy. (But I do. She and Ken and Peggy will also end up doing the Virginia Slims "you've come a long way, baby" campaign.)

And as for Stan and Peggy. Um, no. What you saw there? That was a nightmare. Did. not. happen. Guuuhrrooss and the most blatant DEUS EX MACHINA ever done. Cheap and incestuous. 

Ken - yes - give that guy the WORLD. :) 

The last person that deserves a fresh start is d-bag Pete. Gaahhh... in my ending, he is totally dominated by Trudy, but he is too boring for us even to care. 

All in all, the ending has nothing to do with a bunch of strangers and minor characters. I mean... the freakin Bradys didn't end it when they were in Hawaii or in that ghost town.... Christ. That really really sucked.